I often hear that most writers begin by writing short stories, perhaps in the same way that many filmmakers begin by making short films. What I haven’t decided is whether it’s necessary to master one before starting on the other.

I’ve always been a novel writer. I wrote my first “novel” (though it should more aptly be categorized as a novella) at the age of 10 when I spoke barely any English and had little to no business writing anything at all. I wrote it, and it was crap, but many other things have branched out of that first story I wrote. They’re still crap, but maybe a little less so. Mostly, I just can’t let go of my characters.

I had a point, but I have a tendency to digress - which actually does bring me back to my point: focus. I’m not good at that. I’m not good at short stories. I have several started attempts sitting in my hard drive and they may never see the light of day for the simple fact that I just don’t have the mental discipline required to shape a story in 1000 words. And usually the problem is that I don’t know the characters, and I because I don’t know them, I don’t care about them very much. And if I don’t care about the characters, I lose all interest.

For the same reason, I generally hate reading short stories. I stay away from short story books, even when they’re written by authors I greatly admire.

While some are drawn to books by their author, or title, or subject matter, I’m offen drawn to books by their length. I love really long books, especially really long books that are actually good. For me, it’s important to develop a relationship with the characters, and I find that with short stories, I very rarely end up caring about the characters very much. The story itself might be entertaining, but if I don’t care about the characters, I finish with a sense of disappointment or dissatisfaction that is very rarely the author’s fault.

I like things that never end. I love television shows over films for that very reason. I like the continuity and the feeling of familiarity. I’ll take a good TV series over a good film any time of the day. I rant incessantly about good dialogue and characterization in both novels and shows. I know the writers’ names by heart in the shows that I love, and I can even tell from watching an episode who’s the one who wrote it.

For the most part, I am a dialogue and character writer. I don’t know if these are official terms or not, but I’ll use them anyway. I think dialogue is often my strength, while prose is my weakness. I’m not great at prose, and it never comes easily to me. I imagine the reason for this is that my passion is more geared toward screenwriting than novel-writing, and I hope to one day be able to put that theory to the test.

TBSOL began, actually, as a screenplay, as it was - and is - my intention to make it into a film. But writing a screenplay involves that focus and discipline that I am often lacking.

I should prob —

Okay, just as I was writing that, Karine knocked over a lamp and it fell on my head, so …. what was I talking about?

Oh yes. Focus.

Ow, my head.

Anyway.

Originally, I was very set on getting into a screenwriting course at Rutgers, only to qualify you had to be accepted. And to be accepted, what did you have to do? Write a short story.

I could never write this short story. I started a few. I spend many hopeless hours staring at the damned blinking cursor, and nada. I couldn’t come up with a single storyline that could be written in 10 pages.

So I never applied. And never got in. And I regret that.

As a writer, I approach what I read as a lesson. Each book that I read, each show that I watch, it’s a lesson in something. I read the prose, I listen to the dialogue, watch for pacing, take note of the scenes that air vs. the ones they could’ve written, but didn’t.

In telling a story, focus is very important.

And even after 16 years of writing, I have none.

But I’m still trying.

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