Ingrid's Journal

7 Questions Answered

February 23, 2012 » 1 comment»

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You know when it’s almost 9AM and you’ve not slept all night and there are men in your apartment and they’ve got power tools and they are digging big holes in your walls? That is what is happening in my life right now. If I were to show you what my life looks like today it would look really fuzzy around the edges and there would be men with power tools and there would be a lot of noise and dust and not enough coffee (even though K brought me coffee — thanks K for bringing me coffee, I love you). So seeing as I’m barely coherent, it felt like just the right moment to answer these 7 questions from a meme at my friend Lish’s journal. If you comment, I am honor-bound by the laws of memes to ask you questions. These will likely be very weird.

These questions are from Lish, who, when forced, wonders these things about me, apparently, even though some of these things are not questions. Some are actually food.

1. Sausages.

Sausages backwards is segasaus, which I think is German for SEGA sauce. I had a SEGA when I was young but I never tried to make a sauce out of it. I bet the SEGA Genesis makes a great sauce. Tangy.

2. If you could speak, all god-like, into the universe of TBSOL and say 1 thing to Julianne Franqui, what would it be?

“LOOK OUT!! BEHIND YOU!! …. HAHA — made you look.”

3. What is something you want for yourself this year?

World peas. Peas from every country. That’d be neat.

4. What was the best dream you’ve had recently?

I tend to not have “good” dreams. My dreams are either bad or just plain weird. The other day I had a dream that Kurt Hummel came over to take K shopping. And then he drank some San Pellegrino. And then something happened. I think there was a dragon.

5. Your biggest accomplishment.

I never know how to answer this question because some days I feel like I’ve not accomplished anything and other days I feel like I’ve accomplished quite a bit. I’m not sure what I’d consider the biggest. Maybe moving to New Jersey after high school and getting through college and beyond without any financial help from my parents. But no, I’d say that my biggest accomplishment is beating @chewy_in head-to-head eating competitions. Three times.

6. The function of toes.

Seeing as I was pre-med for two years, and a Biology major, AND I got an A+ in AP Anatomy & Physiology, I feel super qualified to answer this question.

The function of toes is twofold:

One fold: To wiggle.

2nd fold: To count off which little piggies went to town.

7. Your favourite song of the moment.

I’m really digging Lana Del Rey right now and so I’ve been listening to her CD non-stop lately. I think my favorite song on there is “Without You” but “Video Games” and “Radio” are also awesome. I’ve also been listening to Ingrid Michaelson’s new CD and the entire thing is awesome-sauce. SEGA GENESIS levels of sauce, and I can’t decide on a favorite song on there but “Ghost” is stuck in my head every morning. This is a complicated question. Going by play count on my iTunes playlist, it would seem that the song I’ve listened to the most lately is “No Light, No Light” by Florence + the Machine. So there you go.

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Yesterday I woke up to the sound of aliens in the kitchen

February 19, 2012 » 11 comments»

I woke up in the middle of a dream. It had been a perfectly normal, tranquil dream, so I wasn’t really sure why I was awake. Karine was still asleep beside me and the time on my iPad read 7:02AM. Nothing seemed out of place, so I decided to go back to sleep.

That’s when I heard it: a strange, indistinct sound coming from the kitchen.

I opened my eyes and listened. There it was again. And again. And again. I tried to make sense of it but couldn’t. It was not a normal sound. A sound like that had no place in an empty kitchen at 7AM.

Now, I cannot emphasize enough how sleepy and completely out of it I was. Under normal circumstances, I’d have guessed it was a rat or any other normal creature. Instead, my first and only theory, after spending a couple of minutes listening to the sound was … Aliens. I was totally, 100% convinced that aliens had broken into our kitchen and were now scavenging through our shelves. Why? I don’t know why. They were just there. In our kitchen. And I was terrified. So I thought, Okay. I need to wake K up because we’re being invaded and maybe we need to make a run for it. And also, maybe she knew how to deal with aliens. In times of great crisis, people are bound to surprise you.

Again, I can not emphasize enough how not awake I was.

The sound continued. It was not a constant sound. It was intermittent, like it would stop and go again. Or maybe slow down and speed up again. I figured it was alien technology. They were taking stock of our pantry.

I lay very still and whispered, “Karine!” I didn’t want to alert our intruders so I was trying to be quiet. K would not wake up. So I tried it a little louder. The sounds in the kitchen were still going and I was freaking out. Finally, I shook K awake and she woke up looking irritated and I hissed, “Listen!”

She listened.

I asked, “Do you hear that?” And she listened some more. I knew there was no way she wouldn’t be able to hear it and I was hoping she wouldn’t panic too much because I was already panicked and I figured if she panicked then I’d just panic more and then who knows what the aliens would do. “Do you know what it is?” I mean, I figured it was aliens but I welcomed alternate theories.

She looked at me like maybe she thought I was kidding. And then, very slowly, she said, “Yes…?”

I didn’t understand how could she be so calm. There was clearly SOMETHING in the kitchen and she was already turning over to go back to sleep.

I shook her again. “K! What the hell is it? Do you want me to–should we call someone?”

“Are you serious right now? It’s the dryer!”

“The dryer?”

“I programed it last night.”

The dryer.

Now that she mentioned it, it did sound like the dryer.

My bad.

11 comments »

And now I’m back (from outer space)

February 16, 2012 » 4 comments»

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I just ate the most amazing chocolate muffin and it made me realize that I should probably update my blog.

If you follow me at all through the open streets of the Internet — with or without government issue binoculars and night vision goggles — you’ll have perhaps noticed that I’ve been quieter than usual. I received some concerned emails wondering if I’d been abducted by intergalactic spacegoats and well, that’s just silly because intergalactic spacegoat abductions are highly classified and I would never be allowed to admit to them in public spacegoats do not exist. The true reason for my absence is highly complex and revolves around time-travel diapers and a tiny human.

But I’m back now.

I had to push my deadline for TBSOL FV forward a few months because I underestimated how frustrating it is to write this novel and also because I hit some kind of strange depression in January that made me both uncreative and anti-social. This had nothing at all to do with the arrival of the tiny human, which actually helped to bring me out of my dark cloud of blahdoom and into … well, whatever this is now. Hooray for being an aunt!

Point being: I’m writing again.

Finishing TBSOL is my main priority and to celebrate the fact that the word count is moving again, I offered up a chance to join the beta team by voting for Faberry over at the E! Online poll over the weekend. Anyone who voted for Faberry during the final round (which ended Monday) will get an invite from me on Wednesday, February 22nd. So if you voted and wish to be a part of the TBSOL FV beta team, drop me an email between now and Wednesday and let me know you participated in the madness.

If you missed the opportunity, I tend to announce this sort of thing via my Facebook page and my mailing list, so if you want to keep up with news of beta team openings and things of that nature, please join up!

Aside from TBSOL, I’m also working on a new novel which for now I’ll refer to as the SS/YA (Secret Society/Young Adult) novel. It is still very much in the early stages of existence, but there’s several things I can reveal about it now that I’ve started writing it. I’ve changed several details since last I mentioned the story, so here’s the latest:

This will be book #1 in a series
I’ve planned out four books
Each book focuses on one of the main characters
Book 1 focuses on Sasha McKnight
The books are set in high school
They involve the beginnings of a secret LGBT club/society
The setting for this series is a fictional town on the east coast
All the main characters will be either gay or bisexual
Sasha is bisexual
Book #1 will also focus quite a bit on Lana Caszel (main character of book #4)
The first book will introduce two other main characters: Ainsley Parris (book #2) and Zoie Keeling (book #3)
I’d categorize this series as young adult comedy/romance
The series is set in the same universe as TBSOL

I’m not accepting beta readers for this yet, but when I do, openings will first be made available via my mailing list. So if you haven’t signed up and are interested in this series, that’s the place to be to be first in line for pretty much everything.

I’m still looking for a cool name for the secret society in this book, so if you’ve got suggestions, drop it in the comments or email me. If I end up choosing your suggestion, you’ll get an automatic invite to the beta team for the entire series.

And I think that’s I’ll I’ve got for now. I hope everyone is having a fantabulous day!

4 comments »

Want a chance to join my TBSOL Final Version beta team?

December 16, 2011 » 0 comments»

Quite a few of you have expressed interest in joining my TBSOL FV beta team. I don’t intend to publish FV on the web anywhere and I’m only allowing a handful of people to read it before it goes off to my publisher. So from now until February, I’ll be doing random beta invite rounds where I invite one or two people to join the team. Today, I’m starting invite round one.

Beta Invite Round #1

I’m inviting one (1) person. If you want to be that person, keep reading.

Here’s how it works:

You have to be a subscribed member of my newsletter (if you received this same message in your inbox, then you’re good to go).
If you’re NOT subscribed, you need to subscribe by Monday, December 19th – You can sign up here »
You must reply to this email or your newsletter welcome email or something of the sort saying that you’re interested in being considered. If you’d like, you can say something weird, like, “I love dancing goats,” and I will take that to mean you’re interested. I will also take that to mean you’re awesome.
Dance

So, to recap:

Subscribe to my newsletter » email me to say you love dancing goats (or just that you want to be considered) » dance

How I will choose the winner:

I will take all the emails I receive, put them through a Sophisticated Randomized Process that will involve:

1. shaving my head
2. dancing around naked with sticks
3. chanting

And from this process one name will emerge and he or she will become THE CHOSEN ONE.

I’ll announce THE CHOSEN ONE on Tuesday, December 2oth while I pack for my holiday trip.

Before you ask, no I will not post pictures of the SRP (Sophisticated Randomized Process) because it’s sophisticated. Also secret. Also I’ll be naked and bald and I don’t want to get tagged on Facebook.

If you’re not THE CHOSEN ONE this time around, worry not. For I’ll do another round or two in January and you’ll have a chance to earn a different title.

Love, goats, and coffee,
Ingrid

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Dancing Goats And Greeting Cards

December 11, 2011 » 5 comments»

If you’ve dropped by my blog in the past couple of days you may have caught it in various states of undress. I’ve been doing a little winter cleaning. Up above the post titles you’ll now find links to whatever category that post is filed under so that you can easily navigate through similar content. Spiffy, si? Si. I’ve done other things, but those will likely not affect your life.

Today I’m excited because I finally got around to pre-ordering Star Wars: The Old Republic. I’ve been waiting on this game for years. And then I forgot about it. And then I remembered again. But it was still not ready, so I forgot again. And then I remembered, but I was too late to sign up for the beta thing and I was like “Nooooo!!” And then I cried. And then I stopped crying. And then I forgot about it again. But today I remembered to pre-order. Happy dance!

Speaking of happy dancing, one of my lovely readers (Hi Vee!) sent me this totally awesome picture she stumbled upon:

Is that not the greatest thing in the world? It is. I feel oddly compelled to get that tattooed on my butt.

keep reading »

5 comments »

Of Pensiveness, Holiday Cards and Intimate Letters

December 6, 2011 » 11 comments»

Last night K rediscovered that it’s a dangerous thing to ask me what I’m thinking. She saw me staring off into space, and said, “You look pensive. What’s on your mind?” And then I dragged her into a four hour conversation.

Some of the topics included:

Plagiarism
Chewbacca
Real Housewives
The hidden complexities of reality television
Hipster music
Anne Rice
Cellos
Sociopaths

… plus much, much more. Seriously, four hours.

Would you like a holiday card?

It’s December! How did we get back here so fast? My goodness. K and I went a teensy bit overboard buying holiday cards back in January (they were on sale!) and the plan is — as it is every year — to send cards out to all our friends and family and online acquaintances whose mailing addresses we haven’t yet lost.

So! If you would like a card from us this year, please to email me your address (even if you think I have it already, because I am really bad at keeping an orderly contact list). We would LOVE to send you one. Doesn’t matter where.

Daily Dose of Randomness (DDOR)

I’m finally back in the mailing list business after many moons of being too lazy to create one. I realized maybe some of you prefer communication on a more personal level and sometimes I don’t feel like writing things publicly. So! I now have a Daily Dose of Randomness newsletter thingie, to which you can sign up.

What this thingie IS:

A letter from me to you on a semi-daily basis with content not published anywhere else
A message discussing something I don’t feel like blogging about, but would still like to share with those who enjoy hearing from me
An option to interact with me via email
A more intimate setting (I’ll light candles whenever I email you)

What this thingie ISN’T:

A group list where everyone’s replies go to everyone else (your replies go to me, and me only)
A goat

You can unsubscribe any time you want and you don’t have to feel bad about it. I promise. If you’re into it, click here to sign-up

11 comments »

Mimosasaaaaas

November 28, 2011 » 3 comments»

Me: I’ve never had a Mimosa. What’s in it?

K: Champage and orange juice, both of which are in the fridge.

Me: LET’S HAVE MIMOSAAAAAAAS!!!!

K: I love you.

Me: Because I’m like, LET’S HAVE MIMOSAAAAAAAAAS?

K: Because you’re cray cray.

Cray cray!

3 comments »

Back to the whiteboard (TBSOL Progress Report)

November 26, 2011 » 7 comments»

whiteboard

Outlining

I’m outlining TBSOL in ten-chapter increments. Every 5th chapter takes the story in a new direction:

Chapter 1 – Julianne buys Kris’ painting.

Chapter 5 – Julianne emails Kris.

Chapter 10 – Julianne gets the script for the movie in NY / Kris breaks up with Nathan / A few other things.

Chapter 15/16 - Julianne goes to Kris’ art show / They meet in person.

Chapter 19/20 – Julianne and Kris meet up for coffee / Leigh’s up for a role in Julianne’s movie.

Chapter 25 – Kris finds out that Julianne is Julia.

And so on and so forth.

keep reading »

7 comments »

Dishwasher conversations

November 24, 2011 » 2 comments»

K: Why are the coffee cups in the dishwasher where the glasses usually go?

Me: I felt that putting them in the same place was too derivative of your style of putting dishes away and I just wanted to try something different. I wanted to draw inspiration from but also transform the experience so that when you opened the dishwasher you got that sense of shock–

K: (laughing) You speak such amazing bullshit.

This is how I get myself out of trouble after putting the dishes away in the wrong place. This is also what K has to put up with.

2 comments »

The Blind Side of Love v2 PDF File

November 18, 2011 » 13 comments»

TBSOL v2’s LiveJournal account sits at 899 members as of today. I’m not sure how most of you even found it because I stopped linking to it a while ago in an effort to keep it “hidden” – but I still granted access to everyone who did find it. If you bothered enough to sign up to LiveJournal just to read my story (as most of you did), then letting you read it was the least I could do.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to sign up, request permission, and/or occasionally email me to beg for access – you’re all amazing and beautiful and wonderful and I love you.

TBSOL VF/V3 – or as I like to refer to it privately: TBSOL OMG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH – has now veered so far away from either version that it should make no difference at all if you read v1 and/or v2. So, for those of you who’ve read it at the LJ and always wanted a complete file but were too lazy to compile it yourself, or for those of you who did not read it at the LJ but always wanted to, you can now has.

The Blind Side of Love (version 2) PDF – This is a big file so give it a minute or so to download.

I tried to convert it into an .epub and .mobi file so you could read it on your preferred eReading device but it did not convert well. Strange symbols and things popped up all over the place. If/when I figure out how to do it properly and/or someone figures out how to do it for me, then I’ll add the file and let you know about it.

Love you long time.

Note of Warning: I am pretty sure this is the correct file, but I’m a little scared that this will end up like – You know, on TV when someone’s like “I FOUND THE TAPE” and they pop it into the VCR (remember those?) and press “play” and what looks like the Right Thing begins to play but soon enough the screen blurs out for a second and when the image returns it’s A SEX TAPE. And everyone gasps and covers their eyes and the person who put the tape in is going, “OH MY GOD! I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED!!” I’m a little worried that this might turn into a sex tape halfway through. Not literally, obviously. What I’m saying is that if at some point you realize that I uploaded the wrong file, please let me know.

Note of Warning #2: This in no way a final/edited draft of this version. This is just what it is. Or maybe it’s a sex tape. The jury’s still out.

Note #3: Warnings are so dramatic. Come here – let me give you a hug.

13 comments »